Tin Ear Tuesday – Fattened Bright Tin Ear Tuesday – Fattened Bright

No theme, kids. No big friggin’ big thing. Just some music, you know? Some rock and roll. Some new. Mostly old. Mostly good times but then we end with Steve Albini which would lead you to think that all was not well in the ire of Pinpoint until you realize he’s singing about dickies. So, yeah. I guess it’s all good, all the time from now until the day we die? Maybe not but here’s hoping there’s enough WHOOO! here to keep you straight until the Mayan shit hits us in the face or…you know…next week. Rock it!

Cheech & Chong – “Earache My Eye” from Up in Smoke…DUHNDUHNDUHN!!! DUHNDUHNDUHN!!! DUHN! DUHN! DUHN! DUHNDUHNDUHN!!! DUHNDUHNDUHN!!! DUHN! DUHN! DUHN! DUHNDUHNDUHN!!! DUHNDUHNDUHN!!! DUHN! DUHN! DUHN! You’re telling me you don’t know this song? Well, now you do. You’re one of us. Throw those pasties on your tutu and let’s spark ourselves a spliff.

The Misfits – “Last Caress” from Static Age…When I first heard this song, in middle school, I honestly found it shocking. Baby killing? Mother rape? Death. Rape. Death. Jesus, Glenn. Suffice it to say, it quickly became the greatest thing I’ve ever heard and remained, for years, one of my favorite ways to start a mix tape. A great litmus test for punk on those grumpy cum fundays.

St. Vincent – “Northern Lights” from Strange Mercy…I’m not sure why I didn’t think I liked St. Vincent. Probably because everyone insisted on shooting her like a dead rat in headlights and I just didn’t have time for another skinny bitch’s feeling but goddamn if I wasn’t an ass. Did you hear her cover Big Black? Epic. And though this track isn’t nearly as savage, knowing that pig fucking lives deep in her heart makes me love every inch of it.

The Nervous Jerks – “Everything I Know” from Shortpants: A Spader Companion…This band reminds me a lot of My Dad Is Dead only markedly less gloomy. Guess it’s just something in the lonesome songwriting air of the forgotten Midwest. This is all the good, taut slop of a man named Matthew Leicht though I have heard that they’re a real band now or that they’ve (he’s?) broken up. Stupid internet. You’ll love it.

Link Wray – “Run Chicken Run” from Rumble! The Best of Link Wray…You ever think you were a badass? Because you’re not…but Link Wray was. Fucking look at that dude. Just chilling on the grass with a switchblade pompadour thinking about how he’s going to invent distortion and melt everybody’s faces forever. Damn.

The Dils – “I Hate the Rich” from Class War…I believe this band was in the battle of the bands in the aforementioned Up in Smoke but I’m sorry to say they weren’t the new wave weirdo cheerleading freakouts. They were the “hardcore” band. Hardcore. I’m just going to keep talking about it until my dick falls off AND THEN YOU’LL SEE!

Cheeseburger – “Suzy” from Another Big Night Down the Drain…Saw these guys open for !!! friggin’ forever ago and I didn’t remember a damn thing about them until I uncovered a 7″ I must’ve bought drunk on the merit of it’s cover showing a fine lady’s ass with a burger wedged between her cheeks. At least, I think it was a lady. I might be a little drunk now. Party.

P.S. Eliot – “Watch on Mute” from Sadie…Heard this band’s demo and I fucking hated it. Shop Assistants via Vivian via Dum Dum fuzz lo Brooklyn girl bullshit. But this record is different. It’s just fuzzy fun pop. The indie the 90s were good for. Not too crisp, not too tinny. Not really too much of anything which is just right for straightening five years worth of junk drawers masquerading as mementos.

Suicide Commandos – “I Don’t Get It” from Make a Record…Without the Suicide Commandos there would be no Replacements nor would there be a Husker Du. BOOSH! Considering that, their material is notoriously difficult to find or, it was, before the internet helped me steal everything I used to spend years tracking down in condescending record stores. Somebody thank Al Gore…then beer me.

Caddywhompus – “Let the Water Hit the Floor” from Remainder…Seriously. Are we really out of band names already? Why don’t you and Turbo Fruits go fuck Yacht in the face to death? Sheeesh. Still and all for that noodly, math spazz side cap nonsense this band is pretty choice. I don’t listen to it with any degree of regularity but it’s nice to pop up now and then to remind me I hate headbands.

Shellac – “Be Prepared” from Excellent Italian Greyhound…Acerbic goofball love machines making friends and ruining whatever it was that ailed your sorry ass the day you bought into that Odd Future bullshit. I love them as much as you should and you should because they’re the bee’s knees, the cat’s pajamas, the hot’s tamales, the…you get it, right? Because I’ve run out of antiquated hyperbole.

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