Tin Ear Tuesday – Broke Bottle FREAKOUT! Tin Ear Tuesday – Broke Bottle FREAKOUT!

This is the yelling one. Each and every song. I need you to know that before you click the bathroom wall above. There’s proto-synth punk whacking the fuck out. There’s grindcore. There’s fucking GG Allin. So, yeah. This should tell you all that I’m hot on the heels of a good kick in the face and that means the high times are fucked again. Yeeeeeaaaahhhhh. Rock it.

Charm City Suicides – “Out at the Reservoir” from Charm City Suicides…YEAH! YEAH! UHN! FUCK ALL! FUCK YEAH! I often dream that I’m fronting a band that sounds just like this. Dropped dead around the Pagans. Midwest beer charisma. All blood and broken instruments. Yeah, man. This is how you blast your TDK.

The Screamers – “Vertigo” from The Best…This band never put out a record. I think they might have made it onto some comps and spit out a few seven-inchers but never a damn thing even remotely legit. Still you know their visage. Jello Biafro certainly did. He cites these whack-haired, synth/drum yelpers as being the primary influence on that old band of bastids he used to play in. What were they called? Mojo Nixon?

Avon Ladies – “Quality Programming” from Guns & Gold 7″…It’s been a long little while since I was hot for a punk band that did the whole slow blow into skate thrash circle pit with all the enunciation of a cranked hobo Ramone. Not that my dick is the least bit interested in these ladies but I’d totally do them in a basement.

Ampere – “Mr. Suit” from Das Oath/Ampere Split…I know some folks who REALLY love Orchid. I don’t. Never did. Never will. I don’t even really like Ampere either. They’re entirely too collegiate with their sociopomoliteraticore but they can cover the ever living FUCK out of Wire. Damn, man. Seriously. How fucking good is this song?

XO Skeletons – “California Needs You and Me” from Bored by Heaven…Before the trees grew emotions and died and somewhere after suing Fall Out Boy, the one-handed wunderkind Wesley Eisold came out with this short-lived and strangely infected screaming drunk-assed laptop party madness. Maybe my favorite song of the last few years. Please be advised, this shit is loud. Like, SHOCKINGLY loud. Red level. BOOSH!

Venom P. Stinger – “26 Milligrams” from Walking About…This is the dude from Dirty Three long, long ago and, evidently, very much in favor of an obscure Aussie methamphetamine. Rough hewn and choked between atonality and bitterness but with just enough anarchy in the rasp to make it livable. This track is a third generation vinyl rip (I think) so it sounds like shit. Please forgive it.

Crass – “Darling” from Stations of the Crass…Crass are the best band to ever grace a back patch. And though they were SO much more than that, chances are your introduction to this band was through their logo. Probably tattooed on some scabby crust sparing for glue change or on a t-shirt at Hot Topic which is a sin because these radical underground commandos did more for punk than your little brother will ever know.

Please Inform the Captain this Is a Hijack – “Party While You Can Motherfucker” from Defeat or Humiliate the United States of America…I don’t really know what to tell you this is but it stars Mike Kirsch who was in a whole bunch of bay area bands I’ve never heard of and some that just make me go ‘huh’. This band is no different. They wore masks. They used samples. They made political invectives fun to yell confusedly.

G.G. Allin – “Gypsy Motherfucker” from Suicidal Motherfucker…I. LOVE. G.G. ALLIN. I do. I know I shouldn’t and you probably (reasonably) won’t. As his songs go, though, this has to be one of the most palatable if you skip over the racial epithets and rape references and…um…yeah. If you are offended easily or ever you should probably just skip this track. I believe it was performed with a band called the AIDS Brigade and originally released on a 7″ called Expose Yourself to Kids. If not, blast the fucker and live the rest of your life unafraid.

Napalm Death – “Instinct of Survival” from Scum…I have vague memories of this totally badass chick in high school who used to blast Napalm Death from her green Chevy Nova. If I weren’t such a pussy, maybe I could’ve fallen in love with her. I did all right, though and have the scars to prove it. Grindcore.

Planes Mistaken for Stars – “One Fucked Pony” from Mercy…The first song from the last album of the band that should’ve changed your fuck life with their gruff rash emo crash but they never quite got the timing right. It’s a shame, really. I saw them once and they were one of the grittiest bunch of balls deep road warriors I’ll ever have the pleasure of feeding whiskey. Man, I miss them. I do. But now isn’t the time for sentimentality. It’s midnight. Let’s fight.

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