Tin Ear Tuesday – BOOSH! Parade Tin Ear Tuesday – BOOSH! Parade

Oh, man. You really want to hear about it? Nah, you don’t. Not really. Buy me a beer some time and I’ll let you bask in some First World Malmsteen FURY! But right now. Right here. Half naked and wrapped in the delicate, lingering wafts of cigarettes and sex it’s fine. JUST FUCKING FINE, OKAY! Jesus, I haven’t done one of these in a long time. You can kindly blame that fat, bearded bastard from 30 Days of Night for killing my computer en route to Texas and, with it, a good chunk of my music, life and library. Sunmabitch. I think this one is fun though. Sure. Why not? Rock it.

Red C – “Pressure’s On” from Flex Your Head…This band blinked into existence just long enough to appear on the wildly venerated (and rightly so) Flex Your Head compilation. It’s punk as fuck, yeah. All cops and frustration and has been covered by bands like Ceremony and RFTC. Actually, it was seeing Ceremony, recently, at Fun Fun Fun Fest that reminded me just how much skinny little DC ass this song kicks. The bass player’s long dead. That’s about all the information on this band there is so just kill it, okay?

Big Freedia – “Gin in My System” from Hitz Vol. 1 1999-2010…Dear Big Freedia, I fucking love you. Seriously. So deep and so hard it’d be embarrassing if my lady didn’t understand the agape that can exist between an aging half-punk and a sissy bouncing queen of azzezz, etc. Yeah. You want in on this party. Gin drunks are fucking terrifying.

The Rolling Stones – “Shattered” from Some Girls…I think this might be one of my favorite Stones songs. It’s good and loose and entirely fucked up on drugs I’ll never be able to afford. Our own, Mr. Gentry, pointed out the other day that Some Girls stands as the last of the classic Stones records and I couldn’t agree more. Man. It’s hard to imagine what it must have been like to see Mick Jagger playing sexy without reading like a gilded pederast. Let’s not even talk about Keef. Is there anyone else in the band anymore? Charlie? It doesn’t matter.

The Electric Chairs – “Fuck Off” from Blatantly Offenzive…Meat rack. Think about that. You got time for punk rock’s first glaringly transgendered focal point’s cock? No? Fuck off. Simple sentiments for the new etiquette (ask me how many times I had to spell that) over a sloppy twelve-bar beat. I’m sorry I never got to see Wayne/Jayne County deliver me from pedestrian lust but I think my ex-girlfriend once found the pink vinyl dance remix of this track in the trash. I wonder if I have it. I sure as hell hope so. She owed me that.

Fuck Mountain – “Small Town Fun” from A New Mountain…That’s right. Fuck Mountain. They’re from Dublin and they totally stole their logo from The Wipers which is likely relevant to all of about three of our readers but it’s true. No photos of this band appear to exist which means they’re either shockingly new or some manner of cryptic dicks. Ima err on the side of the former since this is some good time fuzz rock that I haven’t heard since Nirvana invented interest in The Vaselines or maybe that one song on every Husker Du record that I can never remember the name of. I’m pretty sure you can only get this album for free which you totally should and then have a one man beer party forever. Actually, they do sound a lot like Muddle. Yep.

CSS – “Fuck Everything” from La Liberacion…I tried to trim off the extra three minutes of bullshit at the end of this song but I have no real idea if I was successful or not so if you’re listening to this brash dance anthem and then find yourself faced with some silence and then noise and then some girl mumbling, I apologize. So yeah. Portuguese. I still think the language is sexy even though this track is sung in English.

Bilbo Baggins – “Saturday Night” from Killed By Glam Vol. 1…I am so happy to know that this band exists. Furious glam rock blowing the back out of a 45 with a name derived from savagely literate mysterical nerddom. And they hate shirts as much as my love handles. Awesome. Seriously just all around glitter boot stomping awesome. If this doesn’t reach you just right at SOME point in your life then you’ve done it all wrong. I don’t know if this compilation actually exists or if it was just invented by the internet. Either way, I’m drunk and naked.

The Who – “Substitute” from Meaty Beaty Big and Bouncy…Dude, it’s The Who. What do you want from me? You like rock and roll? Of course, you do. Then you like The Who. I’ll admit that I am not as passionate as many of my dearest acquaintances (Kwame’s shock face is awesome) about this band but I can’t argue with the pop of those speedy mods of old. Didn’t the Ramones cover this song once? Was that sad? Not nearly as sad as covering the Motorhead song “R-A-M-O-N-E-S”. That pretty much killed my youth right there. Well, that and gray ball hairs.

Pulled Apart by Horses – “Yeah Buddy” from Pulled Apart by Horses…I wouldn’t know fuck all about this band if it weren’t for chatting long and hungover with Chelsea Piers from Gay for Johnny Depp. He couldn’t say enough good things about them (and Christeene, but we’ll get to that one day). They’re teeth on glass hook classy trash from Leeds. Perhaps classy is a bit much but it felt good in that statement. Unthreatening screams and then some eh and a little death metally. The verses are amazing. The chorus gives me hives. A lot like Pantera, actually, only totally not. Enjoy.

Rocket from the Crypt – “Luck Is the New 13” from All Systems Go Vol. 3…I’m a little shocked to learn this is only the second appearance of Rocket in (now) fifteen Tin Ear Tuesdays. Man, I must be going soft. I used to have a rule that Rocket and Archers would appear on each and every mix I made for anybody including my mother (her favorite song for a while was “Toast”). I love this band. You probably love the Hot Snakes or Jehu or Night Marchers but Rocket, man…Rocket will always have my bastard ass rock and roll heart. This isn’t a great song but it’s been in my head for days. Let Speedo melt you away.

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