SXSW 2014 (not so) Short List: Q-Z SXSW 2014 (not so) Short List: Q-Z

sxsw-cover-2014-1200Below is the last of the big list, kids and I should feel some sense of accomplishment at having bored through the hundreds of names of showcasing artists at SXSW 2014 but I don’t because I know that I’ve only just begun to scratch and eke my way through the amber because beyond this official gigs are the innumerable East Side Unofficials, Bridge Shows, Booze Cruises and Masonic Happenings and – yeah – that scares me a little just like it does every goddamn year so fuck it. Tomorrow, I set my sights on Texas. Tuesday, I fall fist first into the swarming fray and, hopefully, by this time next week I’ll be amazed. Exhausted, crumbling and desperate but glad to have made it.

Apologies to any band that got unjustly snubbed in this scrum (and the previous rolling entries Numbers, A-F and G-P). I’m sure you’re well worth somebody’s time…just not mine…not today.


Quiet Company – Come on, man. Don’t do this.

Quiet Kids – The other day everything at work smelled like shitty bar coke and my knees.

Quilt – Quilt? Fucking Quilt? Go to hell, Quilt.

Rabit – I hope it’s pronounced “Ra-BEE”

RAC – Pants on, dance on.

Radkey – I bet these dudes have some pretty sweet pellet guns.

Ramesh – I vaguely remember Voxtrot but I don’t remember Voxtrot going electro sad dance obscura. Did they?

Rancho – Dust folk. Alto and baritone. Dreamy.

The Range – What’s with all these knob hop pedal tweakers looking so goddamn serious all the time? You’re not Fugazi, buddy.

Rare Monk – Inoffensive beatifics in the post rock watercolor vein.

Rathborne – This dude named his record Soft.

Ratking – It’s about fucking time NYC got themselves a new rap crew.

Raw Geronimo – Is this Blundertown? Nah. Blundertown makes better margaritas.

Raw McCartney – Like “Helter Skelter” or is that just your nickname. Crock and roll.


Real Estate – I don’t ever want to be in a position where I have to listen to this band. I mean, I fail a lot. Like, every day. But this is a line I’ll chew in the goddamn concrete if I have to.

Real Magic – LIES!

The Rebel – Mysterical.


Reptiles – Basement sweat and glue mess.

Residual Kid – Is anyone IDing these bands? Jesus.

Rhett Miller – “Wait, who?” “Old ‘97s” dude.” “Oh, right…duh.” “Shut up, Charles.”

Rich Aucoin – Feel good anthemic electic pop art weirdness. More pop than weird, though. Thank fuck.

The Ridges – Young people playing folk makes sense I suppose if you still believe there’s revolution to be had in the anachronism.

Ringo Deathstarr – Not sure if their bassist is still a model but they still sound like warm honey on an electrical fire.

Ringworm – Just fucking kill everything already. I’M IN!

Rivers of Nihil – I regularly confuse this band with Fields of Nephilim the same way I confuse a toothpick for a rubber. Nobody thinks it’s funny but me.

Roadkill Ghost Choir – Opossum rock.

Roo & the Howl – Female fronted desperate American folk rock. Born for Daytrotter.

Royal Blood – Bass drum UK blues ease fuel.

Royal Canoe – Is there even such a thing? Canadia is the most curious of things.

Royal Teeth – I was really hoping this was gonna be some pig fuck noise rager meth mouth shit but holy shit if it isn’t.

Ruby Jane – Yes. Yes, I will take an hour out of my day to watch a nineteen-year-old fiddle prodigy cover Alt-J because that’s just the kind of guy I am.

Ruby the Rabitfoot – Get a job.

Running in the Fog – So you have an “affinity for 90s R&B” huh? Come back when you’ve grown a pair of sensibilities.

Rusty Maples – I refuse to believe people actually live in Las Vegas. Too much humanity.

Ryley Walker – Damn, this boy can play some guitar.

S U R V I V E – The only qualm I had with witchhouse was the boredom and the rapping and the unpronounceable names and the fashionable scum affiliations and the rapping. I kinda liked the name, actually.

Saidah Baba Talibah – There’s fire in them pipes, Irwin. Dripping soul and brassy thunder. All you.

The Saint Johns – Sad pretty. Pretty Sad. Acoustic etc.

Saint Pepsi – Someone’s getting sued, dude.

Saint Rich – Have a sammich, take a nap. We’ll talk later.

Saintseneca – Earnest country folk from Columbus brought to you by Anti which must be pretty righteous.

Sam Roberts Band – There was one song by this dude that I really used to like but now he’s lost to me in the rubble of Pete Yorns and Phantom Planets and all the many boy men bands that the Parrot Empire relished. I think I have a t-shirt.

Samsaya – Eclectic Norwegian electro pop lady. Can’t tell if it’s the next big thing or a toothache.

San Saba Band – With all the bullshit potpourri that SXSW’s been wafting at me, it’s nice to hear four grown men play straight American country rock.

Sannhet – For some reason I feel like this is the St. Vitus house band. Everyone loves Deafheaven.


ScHoolboy Q – I should know but I don’t.

Scorpio Rising – I prefer Lucifer.

Seahaven – huh. This band is actually pretty diverse. Thought they were just a pack of whoa-woe emos but they’ve got some Dischord and folk thrown in for good measure.

Sean Nicholas Savage – You are freaking out…MAN.

Secret Colours – When I first found out my dad was color blind I was afraid he would run a red light and kill us all. That’s not how it works.

Secret Someones – Okay, FINE! Your adorbs. What do you want from my life?

Seek Irony – I don’t care if it’s a joke. Go fuck yourselves.

September Girls – New band crush. Irish sad surf Lush.

Sexores – I don’t know if I really want to do all the drugs or if I’d just like to have the option. Is there a middle road?

Shakey Graves – Fuck yeah. Crazy good ease lo fi country. Drink, stomp, grin.

Sharon Needles – Why, yes, Sharon Needles…you ARE a crazy drag diva and thank fucking GAWD for that.

Sheiks – Party space man noise psych rawkin.

The Shilohs – Like The Unicorns if they learned anything from Big Star instead of their stupid selves.

Shlohmo – I think we did a giveaway for this cat.

Shocked Minds – You and I are all too old for this shit.


Sick Feeling – I had budget shrimp for lunch yesterday and – right now – my asshole is just fucking awful.

Sick/Sea – Do I know you?

The Sideshow Tragedy – You don’t know shit until you’ve seen the circus magician in Portland, Maine.

The Silver Palms – Teenage affliction. Kids being kids being decent musicians without being little shits and whose parents know the value of introducing Sticky Fingers at a tenderer age than most would suggest.

Silver Snakes – Someone was just talking about them. Uninentional unfun…or maybe not.

Simian Ghost – Monkey Specter.

Single Mothers – Saw these dudes last year and they fucking KILLED IT!

Sir Sly – Much electronic pop bores me to death (especially when its sullen) but some of it is just so right it tickles the strings that sway my cockles.

Sisu – Ooooooooooh. Kinda cool. This is the girl who did work with Dum Dum Girls.

SKATERS – Hella buzz NYC band. Hated their record when I first heard but now I dig on their scene a bit. Shit. I promised that review two weeks ago. All is lost. Sorry, Warner.

The Skunks – This band hasn’t played since ’78 and back then it was with The Violators.


Slaves – Of course, it’s two whit dudes but at least they make with the fuzz rage.

Slothrust – Rare is the Brooklyn band that just wants to fucking rock already.

Slow Down, Molasses – Charming, textural, volumous, awesome.

Small Black – Not cool, dude. Not cool.

Snow Ghosts – Creepy, swollen electro folk gloom. I hate London.

The So So Glos – This band plays, like, every week somewhere in NYC. Never seen them. Kids dig it, I think.

The Soul & The Sun – What, exactly, is the difference between a commune and a cult?

Solander – Admit it, you kinda liked Gotye.

Soledad Velez – Brass balls lady sings the blues from Valencia.

Solids – Fuzzy wuzzy WHA?! punk duo sound like making out at a Dinosaur Jr. reunion.

SomeKindaWonderful – Watts’ kick your ass, dude.

SoMo – Oh, shit. Maggie shot this dude a minute back. R&B ish?

Soundgarden – Dude, man…like, come ON, dude…man…fuck.

Spandau Ballet – This band is the worst thing in the world. I hate them. I have always hated them. I will always hate them. “True” is everything that has ever been wrong with anything ever. FUCK!

Spank Rock – Fucking righteous.

Speedy Ortiz – I keep hearing they’re guitar heroes.

Spirit Caravan – Are you high, yet?

Splashh – The Pet Shop Boys play Factory Records.

Spray Paint – Jad Fair spitting dumpster art snark on a foul glue high.

ST 37 – Wait. WAIT! This band features a member of Three Day Stubble? Get ready to get (middle-aged) brown weird.

St. Vincent – Still pissed I missed her Big Black set. Why does she look like David Byrne now?

The Standards – If Blur made a record that sounded like this I would like Blur. I don’t like Blur.

The Stargazer Lilies – Somber noise in flowers.

Starlight Girls – Huh. You know. I honestly have no idea how I feel about this band. Kudos, fools.

Starmarie – Anime madness but NOT like you think.

Steelism – The Stax house band of the future.

Steve Gunn – Beautiful and compel six string wonder (if you’re a friend of Jack Rose…) rooted in the soft urban sorrow of new country blues but which never finds itself moored in the pity play.

Strange Talk – Aussie pop.

Streets of Laredo – I see posters for this band all over fucking Bushwick.

The Strypes – An Irish boy band trying to look like the Kinks and shred a bit like why ladies preferred Clapton on cocaine.

Summer Twins – I wanted to be in a place in my life where I can listen to a song like carefree and not feel compelled to become death.

SUNBEARS! – Fuck it, man. Let’s get all love psych.

Supernova Remnant – Isn’t that a black hole? Why didn’t you just call your band Black Hole? Seriously, dudes. Are you high school?

Suzanne Vega – I saw Suzanne Vega perform “Tom’s Diner” once. It was actually, incredibly compelling.

SW/MM/NG – Ugh with the name but I haven’t written greasy sun off just yet.

Swear and Shake – do you have any IDEA how expensive it is to live in Brooklyn?

Sweater Beats – I always want this to be Sweater Mean which is terrible, sure, but I blame XVideos.

Syd Arthur – Sure, whatever. MOJO. Psych. RARGH!

Tallows – Like a less heroically busy Fang Island so maybe an El Ten Eleven pared down and singing easy.

Tangerine – Cocktail party rock for PBRs and Sloe (Seattle) Gin Fizzes.

Team Me – Full throat go gang chorus pop who probably also play in hardcore bands.

Team Spirit – More fuzz. More garage. Is anyone else uncomfortable with Vice ruling the undercut hegemony?

Tech N9ne – White folks scare easy.

The Technicolors – Brit Rock is boring as fuck. American Brit Rock is even worse.

Teen – Somewhere between the wet eight track, the siren squall and the Samo disco art breaks.

Teen Flirt – If there’s grass on the field, keep an eye out for the cops.

Teeth of the Sea – I never went to Danceteria. It’s a sin.

Temples – Something something something something no one will ever be Syd Barrett.

Tennis – Never.

Texas Never Whispers – Is that a Pavement song? Or was the Pavement song a reference to the original? Not the band but something else. I’ve been up for fourteen hours today.

THEESatisfaction – I ought to know this. Why ought I know this?

Thief – Dancing falsehoods croon.

ThinkNoThink – Kinda just a rock band based in rhythm and blues. You want to see a fucking rock band based in rhythm and blues, see this band. Done.

This Wild Life – Yes, Virginia. Men with neck tattoos still like to cry out loud and in public. I don’t want to believe in it either.

Thorcraft Cobra – What the fuck are you even talking about anymore?

Those Darlins – Yeah. Fuck yeah. We’ll probably even buy them beer. They want to crash on our floor? They totally can. Fuck it. Let’s rule crazed country rawk dagger style.

Those Howlings – Oh, man. Please don’t be dicks.

Thousand Foot Whale Claw – If this band isn’t a pack of bad junk freakouts, I will be sorely disappointed. Keep it creep, Tejas.

Thumpers – Gotta respect a band that has me questioning what is decent and what makes my skin feel like ants or not. I need a nap.

Thus Owls – Seriously. What in the fuck situation would you ever be in or what ungodly hypothesis might you ever be expounding that would ever under ANY circumstances elicit the result “Owls” other than a very specific ornithological evolutionary order? SERIOUSLY!

Tijuana Panthers – Pinpoint’s boys. Ladies love Tijuana Panthers. LLTP.

Tinariwen – There is a rich ethnography infused in the work Tinariwen which I strongly suggest you seek out to better understand the dulcet sounds and the world, in general.

Tinashe – Boobs.

Tinnarose – Okay, if the song “When You’re Gone” is any indication of just how fucking radical this band, then I am full on raging in. Wussy plays “Radio Radio.” Stellar.

To Kill a King – This is a Jesus band, right? Is this a Jesus band? Are they hardcore? Christians can be pretty hardcore. Sober fucklessness reaps a mighty ire.

The Toadies – They’re playing Rubberneck.

together Pangea – Last year, they were just Pangea right? LA fucking loves them.

Tokyo Police Club – I can never tell if I’m supposed to like this band or not. Any illumination on the subject would be a great service.

Tom Maxwell and The Minor Drag – Ex-Squirrel Nut Zippers frontman sounds like the Squirrel Nut Zippers.

Tom the Lion – One day, when I’m in the wrong way, I will hear this man and I will weep gently watching stray/abused dogs get saved. So, you know…Saturday.

Tomas Barford – I appreciate that there is a tremendous amount of talent that shores up a fair amount of electronic music but as a guitar rock kid I’m still working to learn the nuances.

The Tontons – Right. Fuck this. We like Ton-Taun because we are nerds and I still hate Star Wars.

Tony Molina – Tony Molina is one of those dudes who operates endlessly and without censor erring on the popper side of the fuzz that makes hardcore kids swing.

Torres – Once a goth, always a goth. At least now the sullenness has diffused into noise blues, folk and true only a little less perfect than what that coupling might elicit.

Total Slacker – If you don’t care, then I certainly don’t give a shit. Brooklyn sucks.

Total Unicorn – Fuck yeah, I’ll see a dude in a unicorn mask play fuck beats at the legendary Austin queer arena. You should’ve seen what people were doing for Bonaparte. Fluids aplenty.

Touch Amore – I kinda love that they’re a big deal now. Feelingscore.

Traams – British nerves and post pop verve.

traumahelikopter – Where was this band when I was blacking out on swill whiskey at 7B?

Travis Barker – Whatever. This dude’s a sick ass drummer.

Tree – I think I’ve heard his mix tape. I think I enjoyed it.

A Tribe Called Red – I lazily thought this band’s name was bullshit but it turns out it is actually a reference to the band’s own native (like, real native) Canadian lineage. Pow Wow and body rocking. New electro from America’s first people.

Trippy Turtle – Eat a dick.


Tropics – Naps.

Trust – I find the one man skin suit fey of Trust to be laughably uninspired but O really likes him so what the fuck do I know?

Turbo Goth – This shit’s from Manila. I think it might be hiding madness.

Turboweekend – Your budget-busting, one-night stand will TOTALLY be into this.

Turin Brakes – This is nice. I like nice.

Tweens – What was that about Perpetually 12? Cincinnati > Dayton.

Twin Peaks – I believe everything Syd Butler has to say.

Two Cow Garage – Back when I had the cash to buy records aplenty, I used to do as much shopping as possible via Suburban Home. Good prices. Rad dudes. They were ALWAYS pimping me Minus the Bear, Portugal the Man and Two Cow Garage. I never listened, though. I was too busy stocking up on Pelican reissues.

Two Tons of Steel – Ms. Maggie shot them too.

Tyler the Creator – Have at it, suckers.

Typhoon – Jesus, there are a lot of you.

TYSSON – Score your RomCom trailer.

Tyvek – These fuzz fuckers have been around forever and I think they might just be worth every last minute of your perfectly fractured, greying night.

The Ugly Beats – Garage like real 60s groove kids.

Ume – Guitar hero in big girl boots. This is how I plan on starting my time in Austin again.

Univers – Deadpan Spanish garage shoe shuffle shake.

Unkown – Pretty beats beats pretty.

The Unlikely Candidates – These dudes (or two of them, at least) met in Juvie. That’s some outlaw country (rock) right there.

Until the Ribbon Breaks – How strong is YOUR ribbon? Mine’s Kevlar as fuck.

Urge Overkill – heheheh

Vadaat Charigrim – Israeli post punk slow dream chuggers. I should dig it way more than I regularly do.

Vampillia – The old singer from BOREDOMS, someone from RUINS orchestral noise and devastating beauty. Black Metal Godspeed for the postmodern pond hopper.

Vance Joy – Delightful.

Vancouver Sleep Clinic – Glacial falsetto and the beat goes on, anon.

Vaporizer – VT stoner death shred.

Vattnet Viskar – Black Metal makes a lot of sense in New England. Northern hicks, man. Terror country.

Vega – Post punk pop folk via Cordoba. Pretty cool late night NPR grooves.

Venomous Maximus – Less vicious than you’d think.

Vertical Scratchers – MERGE POP!

Via Audio – Yes and no but mostly okay.

Victory – This skinhead I worked with has a kid who wants to be dubstep. He’s cool with it.

Viet Cong – I find this name oddly unsettling. Were they Viet Kong, I’d be okay but playing the name straight for some rote lo fi bullshit is just kinda tasteless.

Vikesh Kapoor – Do the dramatic…gently.

Vintage Trouble – This band is fucking AMAZING! If Ben doesn’t see them, he’ll have failed his soul as both man and animal. Full sweat party soul.

Vision – Burger du jour.

Vockah Redu – BOUNCE!

von Grey – Who knew there were so many Olsen twins in Athens?

Waco Brothers – Rock and roll.

Waka Flocka – Kwame assures me Mr. Flame is a rather crass nutbag of an MC. I support that.

Walker Lukens & the Side Arms – Music for adults who like whiskey and sparklers and making their mortgage payments.

Wanda Jackson – Immortal.

Wardell – Blues pop sibling lovelies.

Warm Soda – Bares Wires not Bare Wires.

Warpaint – I haven’t ever cared for them but I hear their new record is captivating.

The Warriors Atx – Jesus. Like, the idol, not the epithet.

Washed Out – I miss Lemon.

WatchOut! – Chile chimes in on the love buzz.

Waterloo Revival – Seriously, my mom LOVES country now.

Waylayers – Lithium elevator pop.

Waylon Speed – Feed me enough Shiner and I WILL get high on this.

Wayne Kramer – Kick out the jams, motherfuckers.

We Are the City – Imagine Patrick Wolf were Mike Patton’s Don Cab jazz happy ingénue and you will most assuredly get a migraine but I am fascinated by this band.

We Butter the Bread with Butter – God, I hate this name so much. Also they’re like, nu metal or something.

We Were Promised Jetpacks – I have two of their records, no idea what they sound like.

The Well – Pot rock.

Wentru – Total synth pop drama ala 1984 and the Shattered Theater.

Wet – Hella chill, unbro.

Weyes Blood – The riot dream of a broken specter: beauty pained and inescapably true.

The Whigs – Bargain bin stadium rock. That ain’t a bad thing.

White Walls – I know a very, very, VERY different band known as White Walls who would likely eat the assholes out of this lazing dance outfit.

White Mystery – Hot shit kill it.


Wild Moccasins – Their new record is called 88 92 and that actually makes perfect fucking sense.

Wild Ones – I have a friend who makes his own chocolate in Portland. I have another who got kicked out of his house (with wife and daughter) because he made mention of all the lead paint chips. Fuck that town.

Wild Party – Fun! I totally thought that one dude was a lady.

The Wilderness of Manitoba – I never cared for Neil Young. Not at all.

Willie Nelson – Willie Nelson.

The Wind and the Wave – Singer/Songwriter Man/Woman duo. Pretty straight and decent.

Windhand – Virginia fury epics. Pretty sure they have their own beer.

Withered Hand – Folk pop Scots. Respite.

The Woggles – Thirty odd years of great Georgian rock and roll.

Wolf Alice – It’s a sin U2 keeps putting out records when they should just rest on the laurels of their influence and let the kids of the day make their own heart ache.

Wonder Villians – Party quirk fun fun.

The Wood Brothers – Oh. They’re actually brothers named Wood. Fair enough. They still sound like Redwood.

Wounds – Yeah, you can yell at me, okay?

Wrekmeister Harmonies – Big, weird and bleak. Wondrously apocalyptic freak.

Wye Oak – Yeah, man. Love damage.

X – X.

Yamantaka//Sonic Titan – Kabuki art post rock opera manglings of refinement.

Yautja – Destroy.

Yellow Ostrich – They have record all the fuck about Carl Sagan. That shit is AMAZEBALLS!

Yip Deceiver – Synthy synthy synth weirdo pop dance…I don’t know. I’ve been at this two weeks, already. All cats are grey.

The Yolks – Someone needs to bring back the Bo Diddley beat. Seriously. It’s a staple of fucking amazement.

Young & Sick – Don’t piss in my mouth and tell me I’m GG.

Young Fathers – Wow. Yeah. Big beat motherfuckers and some seriously bleeding soul. Revolution soul shake shit.

The Young Mothers – So, like Soul Coughing v. Praxis.

Young Summer – A little lady with a big voice and a taste of somber pop flair.

Young the Giant – Are these guys awesome? They’re pretty awesome, right?

Your Friend – YOU DON’T KNOW ME!

Youth Code – Lo fi Wax Trax howl and St. Vitus Dance. Thelema, likely. Fashion, definite.

Yuppie Pricks – Shticky punk deserving of the Fat Wreck Chords stamp. Not nearly as clever as Rich Kids on LSD.

YVETTE – WHOA! Bass crazy pulse industrial damage salting the wounds of the old mutilation records. Definitely. DEFINITELY! YES!

ZARIGAN$ – Japan girl fight rock blues.

Zeds Dead – We all saw that movie, dudes.

Zefirina – They have a song called “Melvins” and they fucking mean it.

Zella Day – I wish I knew I was pretty. NOTHING COULD STOP ME!

Zig Zags – The fuzz stomp RAWK revolution marches on. No grumps.

Zorch – Pretty sure I saw this band while I was waiting for Assacre and I’m pretty goddamn sure they were totally stellar as hell.

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