Phish – Joy Phish – Joy

Phish - Joy

Phish - Joy

Have you ever listened to Phish? I mean, really. Like, earnestly given them a chance out of the white-hat, petuli pit-stained, VW gas puke, hemp-strewn dread twirling Gaia of the Midwest giving birth to soy abortions at the apex of the third two-hour jug flute trampoline jam on the second day of the twilight of your worth context?

Because I have.

And if you want to know one more sordid truth, it hasn’t been all that bad. I’ll even go one shaky step further and acknowledge that there were some tracks from their back catalog that I actually liked.

There, I said it.

I have no interest in them now but when I was a fat, pasty virgin some Phish sat perfectly alongside inoffensive geek luminaries like TMBG and REM (circa Green).

So why Joy? Why me? Well, I guess it’s another flowering of my masochistic sentimentality. The older I get the more I hate my youthful discretions and the more I consider this record, the more I want to dropkick a rhinoceros to greet death with dumb animal savagery.

It’s that fucking bad.

Like having your creepy older cousin stick his limp, wet dick in your ear while reading poetry you were too embarrassed to share in group to your girlfriend’s hot sister at prom and you can’t do shit all about it because your whole family believes he’s just a little “touched in the head” which has given him carte blanche the last twenty-five years to flagrantly ruin whatever the fuck all he wants, fully funded, by the inbred shadows of Vermont.

Four idle hippies masturbating for cash while good bands die broke and unnoticed.

Fucking nonsense.

Track Listing:
1. Backwards Down the Number Line
2. Stealing Time from the Faulty Plan
3. Joy
4. Sugar Shack
5. Ocelot
6. Kill Devil Falls
7. Light
8. I Been Around
9. Time Turns Elastic
10. Twenty Years Later

Phish - Joy, reviewed by Charles on 2009-11-10T11:33:57-08:00 rating 1.0 out of 5

2 Responses about “Phish – Joy”

  • makisupa says:

    IF you are basing a band’s 20-something years of playing on one album, you are an idiot. AN IDIOT. I know plenty of Phish fans that don’t like this album. Quite frankly, It’s awful. I don’t know of any Phish fans speaking highly of this album. Have I purchased it? No. Have you been forced to purchase it? No. Do you have the opportunity to support other “flailing” bands? Yes. Furthermore, I am pretty sure there are plenty of fans that have been pretty vocal about not liking there past couple of albums.
    Secondly, IF you are basing Phish’s career on any albums, you are an idiot. AN IDIOT. It’s about the live show. And I love hearing Phish critics that haven’t seen them once live, criticize Phish and their VW-driving, patchouli-smelling, vacuum-jamming fans. I may be a huge Phish fan, but I am reasonable. How many shows have you been to?

    “Four idle hippies masturbating for cash while good bands die broke and unnoticed.” Are you fucking kidding me? How many of these “good bands” that you speak of, went for the first 17 years of their careers with NONSTOP touring? On top of that, allowing their fans to bring their own tape equipment to record each show, FOR FREE? Just curious. Because honestly, if you think Phish is where they are now due to album sales, wow. You are seriously misinformed by your quick-to-judge-we-hate-hippy informants. But please, do let me know which “good bands” you are speaking of.. I would love to hear how the beginning of their career compared to Phish.

  • Charles says:

    You’re awesome.