Outside Lands 2013 – Hot Tips Outside Lands 2013 – Hot Tips

outside-lands-2013Ed. Note: Entering into the second day of Outside Lands 2013, we thought it was important to share some tips and tricks on maximum festival pleasure from the inimitable OSL veteran, Rowe. Enjoy.

The bands may change at Outside Lands, yet there are constants that seem to stay the same every year, and for the uninitiated, here are some things to remember as you enter your Golden Gate Park time travel weekend.

Despite whatever the weatherman says, it WILL be cold one, two or maybe all three days. Don’t count on sun – ever.

Your fuzzy iPhone pic of the stage from miles away is dumb. No one can tell what was so special and you’re missing what you paid really, a lot of money, to see. Stop it.

Do whatever it takes to sneak in booze. Get creative. It’s much easier than you think. You’ll be grateful when you realize you’re paying $8 for beers all day and it will be useful bartering tender.

Don’t underestimate the amount of time it takes to walk from one stage to another. The park is big and in order to keep four stages going at all times, and still sound good, things need to be spread out. Give yourself a good 10 minutes to get where you need to go.

Forge ahead. Your goal should almost always be to get to the front. Don’t be intimidated by a crowd of nice people, get in there and don’t be satisfied with hanging around the edges. There will be a point where you can’t get any closer, and the people around you will give you an eyeroll or you’ll hear a weak-hearted “dude” from some dickhole when you nudge up against his main squeeze, but they’ll move on.

That being said, be considerate. Someone like me will call you out in front of a crowd and it’ll be extremely embarrassing and you’ll probably react even more embarrassingly. Just be cool.

Eat. Take that 30-minute lull to eat some vegan nachos or whatever’s trendy on the blogs. If you’re poor, invest in a loaf of bread and some peanut butter and jelly. You will not regret this. And seriously, when was the last time you had a PB&J?

If you smoke, buy a couple packs beforehand. You’re going to be lighting up constantly and you look like a complete amateur every time you have to bum a smoke and a cigarette is a great offering to get in on someone’s rotation.

Plan on getting there a half hour earlier than you actually want to get there. For all the obvious reasons, just believe me.

Phone service is spotty at best, so are brain cells; don’t rely on your phone. If you split from your crew, make a plan to meetup and stick to it. Or if you and your people don’t stick to it, don’t be a dick and just let it go.

You’ll probably totally confuse one band for another (I do this all the time with that “Smoke Ring for My Halo” guy. If you’ve gone on and on before realizing your mistake, mitigate damages by suggesting you go get beer.

It’s my saddest reality of the ever-changing San Francisco landscape; people don’t really share J’s at concerts anymore. BYOW

Check out the tree grove in the Barbary Coast when the sun goes down. It’s the type of creepy-cool reserved only for places like San Francisco

It’s not a bad idea to bring cottonelle wet-naps. They will reveal themselves when the time is right. Unless you have access to the press bathrooms, then who gives a fuck?

There you have it. Follow these tips and you’ll be a festival pro.

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