New Year’s Concerts New Year’s Concerts

phishPhish New Years Run
Madison Square Garden
New York City
12-28 to 12/31/2012

It is not New Years without the very famous new year runs from jambands. This tradition was started by the Grateful Dead which gives jambands a special way to celebrate the end of the year with special one of kind setlists. Please make your way around the nitrous tanks and prepare for David Bowie covers and the possibility of getting down. Ohh yes, if you didn’t know Phish is back. I tried many times to write long articles about them but Charles and Ben threw me down the garbage chute.


Coldplay with Jay-Z and New Years Eve Event
Barclays Center
Brooklyn NY

Jay Z celebrates the new year in his new arena complex with arguably the biggest rock band according to the girl your trying to get with. You might as well move onto the next section as you couldn’t possibly afford this and parking is going to be insane. No, I am not going to pay 25 dollars to park my car for a few hours well just drive around Brooklyn and look for free parking on New Years. Do not worry, this used to be my old paper route.


Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve
Taylor Swift, Carly Rae Jepson, Neon Trees plus a West Coast party featuring Fergie, Flo Rida, Brandy, Karmin, Onerepublic, and Pitbull

What better way to celebrate the new year with some face melting hornet music from the darkest legions of Abaddon hosted by the 29 demons of the lower echelon? Holy Jesus on Christmas day do I want to stand outside for 12 hours herded in a few blocks in downtown NYC to listen to Pitbull chew the heads off of screaming heathens. No seriously, just looking at that lineup gives me the shivers.


Red Hot Chili Peppers NYE in Vegas
The Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas
Las, Vegas

Come to Las Vegas and celebrate new years with complimentary watered down drinks, 4 dollars slots and the soothing sounds of Red Hot Chili Peppers doing something that I haven’t understood for more than a decade. I know they will play “give it Away” and maybe “Aeroplane” but after that I am groping blind around this casino.


Kid Rock
Hard Rock Live
Hollywood, FL

Ohhh goddamn it, this is purgatory isn’t it? I am going to be stuck here forever. Please don’t play Lynard Skynard. Please don’t play Lynard Skynard. Put on your best tux and prepare to throw up bud light and nacho platter in the parking lot at 8pm.


Matthew Dear
Le Bain
New York, NY

Ahhhhhhhh…wait…okay I am surprisingly fine with this. Beams wasn’t half bad. Carry on. Electronic show are always a safe bet. Tiesto is also playing in Atlantic City but I am not listing that. Your going to Mathew Dear and telling me how it is. I think actually things are going to be reasonable. The helldogs are far away from this place.


Fremont Street Experience
Las Vegas, NV

Forget about The Chili Peppers and go see Queensryche. Demand progressive power metal that was amazing in the 1980’s. Its like the government is controlling you and their cyborg creatures and your an assassin for the government. Mindcrime man. Mindcrime. To be honest I do not listen the same amount of Queensryche as the jokes I make about them.


The Melvins
The Alexandria
Los Angeles, CA

I have seen the Melvins so many times that I wouldn’t be that excited, however this is New Years which means they may turn into self aware sludge werewolves. This band will never die and they will continue their tour of terror through the decades.


Celine Dion
The Colosseum At Caesars Palace
Las Vegas NV

Given the choice between seeing Celine Deon and Red Hot Chili Peppers for basically the same ticket cost (225$) I would rather go to Celine Deon to hang out with that crowd. They would be reasonable and get to bed at a decent hour. Also there will be at least one drunk who sings her songs in the parking lot. That is alone worth 225$.


The Avett Brothers with Amos Lee
Greensboro Coliseum
Greensboro NC

This band is so popular and I do not know why. Perhaps the same girl that you are driving around Brooklyn with looking for Coldplay parking is also making you go here. I’m just joking. All i know about The Avett Brothers is from guys. Sensitive guys with real emotions and flannel shirts. North Carolina? Seems fitting.


Bridgestone Arena
Nashville TN

Well its not really dubstep but then again these drugs are sort of a mishmash of pharmaceutics with anything natural a distant memory. Everyone is wearing neon and dressed in lingerie. They are also all beautiful and cut like Greek gods. Yeah, American dubstep not a gross looking intellectual in sight. you can sleep in four days. This E-peyote will last until the weekend is over.

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