Hollywood Undead – Swan Songs Hollywood Undead – Swan Songs

Hollywood Undead - Swan Songs

Hollywood Undead - Swan Songs

Undead! Better get up out the way! ‘Cause there’s a cloud of bullshit rolling through today…and it’s called Hollywood Undead. This talentless group of wannabe-gangsters and not-so-bad asses are pursuing the entirely unoriginal idea of blending rock and rap with a little hint of punk. I have no qualms with this type of music because it has potential to be creative, original and badass (Rage Against The Machine), but it can also be intensely irritating when it tries to be hardcore and mainstream at the same time (Limp Bizkit, Linkin Park) and becomes even more irritating when, despite its simplicity and utter stupidity, it manages to be catchy enough to radio play. At this point it goes beyond irritating and becomes downright outrageous to imagine these no-talent ass clowns making money while true artists struggle.


“Let’s get this party started
Let’s keep them 40’s poppin
So just get buzzed and stay fucked up
We’ll keep them panties droppin”

“I’ll beat the meat like I’m a fuckin’ butcher
I’ll punk the pussy like I’m Ashton Kutcher”

These are just a few examples of the half-assed rhymes vomited by Hollywood Undead on their debut (and hopefully final) album Swan Songs, but it pretty much covers the extent of their values – getting fucked up and being an idiot – at least they practice what they preach. There is also a significant amount of bitching about ‘haters’ and people who try to keep them down, but they make sure to scream their complaints as if to use anger to hide their gaping vaginas. A quick word of advice to Hollywood Undead: If you can’t deal with haters, stop trying to be famous…also stop sucking. One could consider me a hater because I really, truly, deeply despise this music and all that it represents with every fiber of my soul, but I wouldn’t be able to hate it if Hollywood Undead hadn’t managed to get on the radio. I’m not sure if that says good things about the band or bad things about the radio…I’m leaning towards the latter.
I do have to give the band credit for their ability to create and market their image. Shamelessly ripping off Slipknot by wearing masks was probably a good move in order to build an air of mystery…and to keep from getting spit on in the street. Also selling the idea that being drunk, acting stupid and calling women bitches makes you hard is highly marketable amongst young, insecure boys desperately seeking something to make their dick feel bigger – a market that Hollywood Undead is clearly in touch with. It saddens me that the amazing power of music can be abused, diluted and mutated to the point of an absolute abomination that literally spreads a cloud of shit across society and the music industry, single-handedly defacing what is possibly the most positive creation of humanity.
Because I am actually listening to the album while I write this review, I have to stop. I can literally feel myself getting more stupid and less attractive to the opposite sex just by listening to it. But enough talking shit. I was always taught that if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all…but these guys really, really suck ass.

Hollywood Undead - Swan Songs, reviewed by Wedsie on 2009-03-29T20:48:53-07:00 rating 0.5 out of 5

12 Responses about “Hollywood Undead – Swan Songs”

  • Anonymous says:

    Haha your a dumbass

  • Anonymous says:

    The music and rapping style sounds awesome, but the lyrics are absolutely terrible. All they talk about is getting drunk and having sex. Great role models, right? Ugh.

  • Anonymous2 says:

    and they kicked out the worst person in the group. and now they are great. so you look like an idiot

  • Trolololol says:

    Dude you are seriously just trolling. The fact of the matter is yes, the band has several songs about sex, but what do you call the songs “Sell your Soul” and “Young” and “Black Dahlia” and “This Love This Hate” “City” “The Diary” and “Paradise Lost”? That’s a lot of songs that aren’t about sex and drugs right there. Truth is this band has two faces, one is for the party/rap scene that loves to listen to their songs such as “No.5” and “Everywhere I go” and get wasted but then there’s the fans like myself who listen to this band because they produce passionate music that you can relate to in any situation. Oh and the Slipknot comparison is freaking stupid. Both bands wear masks for completely different reasons you can’t compare the two. Seriously stop trolling and f off, HU for life.

  • Charlie Scene says:

    Realy? Swan Songs is one of my favorite albums of all times!! they might just seem angry but there is such passion thoughout the lyrics (Ex. Black Dahlia, The Diary, Young) so this review is as bad as it tried to make HU seem!!

  • Anonymous says:

    Heheh…no-talent ass clowns. Agreed.

  • Kaleb Burt says:

    Ok well first off explain to me this…how can they have so called “ripped-off” Slipknot when you’re forgetting that Slipknot is NOT the only band who wears masks. KISS wears facepaint, Quiet Riot wears the psycho guy mask, Mushroomhead (who by the way came out before Slipknot) wears masks, Gwar who wears full body costumes including masks, etc. etc. Get the facts straight, learn that this is actually good music and they have more talent in their pinky fingers than you do in your whole body. HU has a huge fanbase (The HU Army) I am proud to consider myself an HU Soldier and when ignorant morons like you come and bag on a band that has actual meaning to some of their songs, (Black Dahlia, City, Paradise Lost, Young, etc. etc.) while others are just for fun party lives (Everywhere I Go, Undead, etc. etc.) that’s where you’re wrong. They are a good band, the masks just make them that much cooler! I’m pretty sure they’re not ripping anybody off. It’s a gimmick thing like many great bands before them have done. Expand your boundaries on your music choices and learn this is an amazing album.

  • Anonymous says:

    really? have you ever mad an album?

  • Anonymous says:

    well it a platinum album now

  • Anonymous says:

    You stupid fuck. You can’t appreciate good music.

  • Anonymous says:

    THEY R NOT JUST A BAND M*therfcker
    They r way of LIFE

  • Ashley says:

    Haha, I’m a teenage girl, not an insecure little boy, and I don’t have a dick, so how else could you POSSIBLY explain why I like this music? Everyone has their own opinion, but yours, my friend, is shit. This music is fun for me to sing along to and belt out with my friends– you’re just flaunting your opinion. Now sir, may I ask you to stop being so goddamn high and mighty and respect the fact that other people like this. Get your tampon out of it’s twist and have some fucking respect for people in the music industry who are making an actual living for themselves- not squatting behind a fucking computer screen typing out a lame review in his mother’s basement.