Governors Ball 2013 – Gov Ball NYC Stage Preview Governors Ball 2013 – Gov Ball NYC Stage Preview

govballmainstI know I tend to get a little hyperbolic when it comes to music festivals but I’m beginning to think I’m pretty dead on when I tell you that Governors Ball is going to be the biggest, boldest, drop your pants and shake the ants out, hard and sweaty dance dance DANCE! (and RAWK! as is your want) party of the New York City calendar season. Shit’s been sold out so long and thoroughly that there was a lottery set up to help that merry band of inkly slackers demanding their chance at Randall’s Island get in on the goodness but even that now seems to be have gone dodo. We’ll be there, though. Bells on and balls deep and so wer’e going to take the next couple of days to go through the festival band by band, stage by stage, day by day so that we and you will know just what we’ve all been slathering for. Today, we’re busting out the big guns by talking through the namesake stage if only so we can get passed the strange wonder of world wherein Cut Copy will be (sort of, not really) opening for Guns N (FUCKING!) Roses. All set times are approximate. Rockit.

Friday, June 7th!

12:15-12:45 – Swear and Shake – There is a great, lazy charm to the kids of America that often gets suffocated by plasticine dreams of cool cooked up by a beer shill and repackaged, devoured and forgotten like so many White Castle shame runs. Swear and Shake might just have it in spades though to be honest I could do without the Rag & Bone Americana garb of the men backing in the Zooey Shakes siren at the helm but, eh. A fine enough way to start a Friday.

1:30-2:15 – St. Lucia – I can’t tell if Msr. Lucia is more indebted to the static heart curios of Depeche Mode or the cock yacht rock of Duran Duran or ff there’s something deeper, maybe sinister at play in the synth sun groove this dude regales himself in but I bet the kids will love this shit and the grown ups will lament the passing of the days they could do cocaine off each other’s implants and shimmy away to the beer tent.

3:00-3:45 – Dinosaur Jr. – J. Mascis looks like a Gandalfian hobo now and Lou Barlow’s finally found joy in and with himself so fuck yeah lil’ Dino and though some purists might contend it’s better to experience this band in the ear shattering confines of a club where their decibel level is legendary, I’d say it’s better to not go deaf on the first goddamn day.

4:45 – 5:45 – Of Monsters and Men – When Of Monsters and Men were on SNL the other day, my girlfriend and I both wondered just why everyone had to be so goddamn precious and what the fuck with the civil war drab and then I remembered the were Icelandic and she made popcorn and everything was fine.

6:45-8:00 – Feist – Oh, man. I’m a little concerned that Feist is gonna play that “1234” song and suddenly I’ll fall into a weird cycle of sonic depression from which no amount of beer, porn and GG will ever be able to redeem. That shit’s infectious, yo. Her last album, Metals was, mercifully, a far more somber bluesy affair so I might just be okay.

9:30-11:00 – Kings of Leon – Yep. I will never understand quite how Kings of Leon become one of the biggest goddamn acts on the planet but after watching that weird ass, Jesus-thumbing back country documentary about the band, I won’t begrudge them an inch of success. They do need better haircuts, however.

Saturday, June 8th!

12:15-12:45 – Moon Hooch – Goddamnit. Is this band going to get me to enjoy dueling saxophones and busker jazz afrobeat or am will I just really miss Sweep the Leg, Johnny?

1:30-2:15 – Wild Nothing – I’ve hated this band ever since I saw them open for Superchunk and their soft handed plaints just made me want to drink myself to prison. Everyone loves the Tom Tom Club, though so maybe their new jams will turn my ire around.

3:00-3:45 – Japandroids – Come on, man. Fuck yeah. Though, to be fair, I’ve seen this band a couple of times and not once have they been able to duplicate they warm honey wonder kindling and anarchic meat of their records. I keep seeing them, though, because Canada rules.

4:45-5:45 – Divine Fits – Spoon sucks and I never gave a damn about Wolf Parade but the fucking New Bomb Turks were (and are, on occasion) amazing. Everybody loves the Divine Fits because – let’s face it – their name is awesome and their thump synth rawk groove is deceptively intoxicating.

6:45-8:00 – Cut Copy – Is this where irony meets Reagonomics? The oracle was right. Young men will die this night.

9:30-11:00 – Guns N’ Roses – You haven’t known rock and roll until you’ve heard ANYTHING from Appetite for Destruction played live, loud and for thousands of excitable drunks. The following performance (from 1988) is the most fuckable thing I’ve ever seen on MTV.

Sunday, June 9th!

12:15-12:45 – The Revivalists – Maaaaan, FUCK Dave Matthews, man.

1:30-2:15 – Haim – Huh. I like this. I’m not really sure why. It’s three sisters playing a sometimes busy, hella catchy borderline tropical distillation of hard-hearted 70s sirens and maybe a little R&B. It sounds like the radio in the best late night request line way. If this band doesn’t get huge, at the very least, they should be able to retire young and pretty on a big bed of licensing deals.

3:00-3:45 – Portugal, the Man – I used to buy vinyl from Suburban Home Records (who still operate a drunk dial hotline at 720-45S-HREC) and they were always pushing this band and then Eric and Carl got to loving the fuck out of them and now Danger Mouse is producing them which is rad as hell for them and I really hope when I finally see them, I’ll get to walk away a fan just so we all have something to talk about again.

4:45-5:45 – Foals – Don’t tell anyone, but I’m glad Death from Above aren’t on this bill. Yes, I enjoyed some Black Cat 13 but once the lady and I went to see them and they went on this whole self-righteous monologue about how Canadians are better than Americans because they can say “nigger” and then they just weren’t that good. I will watch Foals because I miss Lemon. Also, their electric art weirdness is way more aggressive than it has any right to be.

6:45-8:00 – Grizzly Bear – I often take pause and wonder why, exactly, there is music that sounds like this. Then I remember Brooklyn and I just hate everything.

9:30-11:00 – Kanye West – I don’t know who slipped Kanye a copy of The Downward Spiral but whoever did owes B L A C K I E a cool, unmarked million. Also, Yeezus is a terrible name for a record and exactly who is Kanye West a slave to? It doesn’t matter. The man is a pop culture cut up impresario who puts on one of the best shows you’ll ever see this side of Gilmore’s acid trip in the ashes of Pompeii.

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