Fun Fun Fun Fest 2012 – Black Stage Preview Fun Fun Fun Fest 2012 – Black Stage Preview

Now that we’ve considered the antics of the Yellow Stage and the eclectic electrics of the Blue, it’s time for darkness to descend, ladies and gentlemen. It’s time for punk rock and hardcore and stoner and grind to crush your laughably infantile dreams of getting out of this festival alive.

Also, beards. Lots of beards.


FRIDAY! 11/2!

11:55AM-12:25PM – Tia Carrera – Most times when I am in a position to discuss this band I tend not to get anywhere past the fact that they aren’t Wayne’s girlfriend. Today, I can tell you that they are acid faced psych.

12:30-1:00PM – Burning Love – Canadian riff heavy hardcore. Good for getting kicked in the face. New LP out on Southern Lord. SLAM!

1:05-1:35PM – FIDLAR – It’s an acronym, you see. “Fuck It Dog Life’s A Risk.” Drunk fuzz garage trash that I imagine involves a lot more screaming on stage than in the safety of the studio.

1:40-2:10PM – Kvelertak – Six piece Norweigan hardcore groove metal band that’s full of hooks and shrieks and – I’m willing to bet – some heavy fucking drinking.

2:15-2:55PM – Torche – YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHH, RIFF! UHN!!!! Slip some pop in that shit. DO IT! YEAH!

3:00-3:35PM – Dwarves – The Dwarves are a hate punk institution (twenty-five years? Jesus) that will probably beat the shit out of you…for real, though. Violence is kind of their thing.

3:40-4:20PM – Municipal Waste – Virginia thrash, man. Good times like a shorter (in length, if not stature), drunker (one blithely assumes), less meaningful (no songs about Indians) Anthrax.

4:25-5:10PM – Napalm Death – THEY FUCKING INVENTED GRINDCORE, DUDE! Best respect that shit.

5:15-6:05PM – Converge – Sometimes it feels like Converge writes music just to fucking piss me off. It’s dark, ornate and savagely complicated. Their fans are lunatics, their singer sounds like asthma being raped. I can’t wait.

6:10-7:00PM – Tomahawk – What? No more Cows? I CRY SHENANIGANS! I still watch their set, though. I’d watch Mike Patton fuck a phone book.

7:05-7:55PM – Against Me! – I’m actually really excited see Against Me! despite the fact that, after three tracks, I tend to find their Civil War drumming and lyrical cudgeling mind-numbingly repetitious. Those first three songs, though? Epic.

8:00-9:00PM – X – X has been touring on Los Angeles (thirty years later) for over a year now and with good fucking reason. That album’s amazing and John Doe’s a DILF.


11:50AM-12:15PM – Residual Kid – WON’T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN?! Oh, you did.

12:20-12:45PM – The Young – Yeah, they’re pysch all right but much more rock than masturbation which, you know, is nice now and then.


1:20-1:50PM – Joyce Manor – I fear I’ve judged Joyce Manor too harshly. When I was their age, I had feelings too.


2:30-3:10PM – Brutal Truth – Grind is a fickle fucking thing, man but Brutal Truth do it to it. What? RAAAARRRRR!!!!

3:15-3:55PM – The Spits – Loud. Rough. Dirty. Silly. Awesome.

4:00-4:40PM – The Riverboat Gamblers – This band has over a dozen releases in the last eleven years and I still have no idea what they sound like.

4:45-5:25PM – OFF! – Nothing reminds us (mercifully) that the 80s weren’t all cocaine and synths like these shoe fire hardcore revitalists.

5:30-6:15PM – Seaweed – A whole bunch of dudes in their mid to late thirties are going to be losing their MINDS to this shit. I’ll be one of them.

6:20-7:05PM – Youth of Today – Kwame wishes this was Quicksand.

7:10-7:55PM – Wavves – Wavves aren’t as shitty as they used to be but they’re still pretty shitty.

8:00-8:45PM – The Sword – Let’s all get high and play D&D in my dad’s shaggin’ wagon.

8:50-9:50PM – Refused – Saw these guys in NYC earlier this year and they were so fucking good my left nut fell out.

SUNDAY! 11/4!

11:50AM-12:15PM – Flesh Lights – Young, no bullshit Austin punk. Me and the hangover are in.

12:20-12:50PM – Cheap Girls – They seem like nice boys. Perhaps, I will bake them a pie.

12:55-1:25PM – Pallbearer – My man’s got a really light voice for such a determined beard.

1:30-2:00PM – Cult of Youth – Finally, the punks are listening to Death in June.

2:05-2:45PM – Liturgy – AHAHAH!!! Oh, shit. Fucking Liturgy. Okay. I actually don’t think their records are half bad but when I heard them playing live I totally thought they were kidding. They weren’t. They had a drum machine.

2:50-3:30PM – La Dispute – They’re last record, Wildlife, erred heavily on the slower side of pretense (read, boredom) but when they dip into their back catalog…yeah, buddy. YEAH!

3:35-4:15PM – Valient Thorr – Big beard party rock. Your shirt’s a dick.

4:20-5:05PM – Japandroids – We fucking love this band and if you love you then you probably do too.

5:10-6:00PM – The Briefs – ’77 FOREVER FOOLS!

6:05-6:55PM – Between the Buried and Me – This is why people make fun of metal.

7:00-7:50PM – Lagwagon – I feel like Lagwagon was on every goddamn punk compilation I bought from ’93-2000. Fat Wreck to the bone. McHank likes them. I don’t.

7:55-8:45PM – Fucked Up – Always phenomenal live provided you don’t mind not being able to understand a single thing that Damian is barking or that he’s sweating half naked on your face.

8:50-9:50PM – Turbonegro – Somehow I missed the Turbonegro bandwagon. Now everyone hates them for getting a new singer so…I guess it doesn’t matter?

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