Dealer’s Choice – Mals Totem / Death Lens / The Left Arm of Buddha Dealer’s Choice – Mals Totem / Death Lens / The Left Arm of Buddha


I: Recently, I’ve learned that there’s just no good way to get fiberglass out of your fingers. Best you can do is get real cold, down some Robo and pass out before the trip kicks in and you’re overtaken by the urge the ride the ferry all night while exploring the wonders of your alarmingly flaccid penis and then the cops always show up before any real revelation begins and then it’s strike two and your momma’s crying and your dad’s still out for a ten year cigarillo and your friends will laugh and laugh and laugh and if you’re lucky enough you’ll wind up on THE registry and if you think about it hard enough you’ll realize that’d be the first time you belonged to something since Webelos and if there’s an ounce of goddamn sense left when you come down in pool of crackhead pudding you’ll content yourself in knowing that chicks dig lone wolves and you never have to speak to your family again until they’re dead and then you’ll be rich. That is to say, it’s a bitch.

II: There comes a time in everyone’s life where new slang doesn’t make sense anymore. This, of course, is a constant cycle of caring being with it and not caring anymore. Some people take this passage as a sign of aging and may even try to fake it while others are resigned to letting pieces of lexicon remain alien to those younger. This change will happen without warning and to those who originally thought they were within reasonable distance to the new generation. Perhaps one can still find new music and culture interesting but still be relatively frightened and confused at new words said by teenagers. Does this still make me hip? Does my complete lack of caring about being cool make me cool. what do I have to do to live forever and not face the ever growing possibility of death?


a1761654284_10Mals Totem
“Strangest Motion” from Strangest Motion

Recently, I’ve been real lost in the mumbling arcana of progressive deconstruction, outside arias and gender bashing breakdowns which must be doing something for my ego because my id’s been almost wholly unsatisfied so when Mals Totem dropped a line (based on the DC featuring Two Inch Astronaut) I was cheeked as fuck at the prospect of a band that sounds so big up guitar noodling Mars Volta Radio Headtripping the daisy chain of emo punking the past lives I’m finally learning to fictionalize just so as to avoid an injunction and what’s more they have an EP coming out on 9/16 and though this track is not culled from that brief blast of tweak living it does give a pleasant introduction to the band vis a vis bed diving.


a4277608402_10Death Lens
“Lips” from Trashed EP

I think I said at one point that punk was not relevant anymore. Who was I and why did I say that? I do not know what punk is doing but it is far from not being relevant. It is not the same type of punk that was ever popular in the 70’s, 80’s or whatever happened in the 90’s. This is a type of punk which openly flirts with psych and garage and can be heard on record labels like Sacred Bones and the ever consistent Subpop. Death Lens is from California but far is any trace of surf or skate punk. This is music which reaches far back into the collective memory and pulls out loud and dirty garage as its avatar. Let’s go get a time machine and go back a couple of years and kick my own ass for being an idiot.


a1593786247_10The Left Arm of Buddha
“Cairo Bazar” from Exotica Music and Other Savage Stuff!

Look, we all know that Buddha has two arms, but have you seen the left one? Take a closer look. He’s got a tattoo of Taz with a Yankees jersey on ripping out of the flesh. It’s a little stretched and faded because he got it when he was fourteen, but it’s definitely there. In addition to having a Taz tattoo, The Left Arm of Buddha also writes ridiculously awesome exotica songs. This seven track album takes you on a tour through some classic landscapes of exotica music with every song on this recording standing apart from the others, but each bringing a classic vibe of its own to the table. Even the cover of “Misirlou” takes one of the most over recorded surf songs of all time and adds a depth that makes it interesting again. Front to back, this record makes me party like I’m at a pig roast on the beach in Hawaii. More face meat please.

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