Alexisonfire – Old Crows/Young Cardinals Alexisonfire – Old Crows/Young Cardinals

Alexisonfire - Old Crows/Young Cardinals

Alexisonfire - Old Crows/Young Cardinals

All right. So you know when it’s late and the only thing left to do in this life is masturbate?  You troll around the tan and silicone wasteland past the Vivids and the Bang Vans and the German Goo Girl’s Piss Box until you stumble on some young emo chick POV and your hardon gets bucking.

You finally have a fantasy’s chance with one of those girls at the show who never wanted anything to do with you because you weren’t in a band and you didn’t have a zine and your t-shirt was passé if not entirely inappropriate for the scene.

And you’re ready to turn your dick into a disaster.

But then you hear it.  Some fucking nonsense.  Some now I’m a tough guy, now I’m a bitch so I can show you I feel something more than my balls in your mouth bullshit while the band rumbles formulaic mediocrity with the all chugs and the wheedling and the drum pans and the what did he just say?

About the cops and the beating hearts?  About the being kids we used to be or not being or slaves or liberty or sheep or FUCK! WHAT?!

And suddenly you’re aware of what you’re seeing.

The camera’s at the bedside and there’s some douchebag on his back and he’s naked except for a ski cap. And she’s kind of fat and cross-eyed and in a Ricky’s wig.  And they’re both singing.  All right, not singing.  But they’re mouthing the words.  Eyes locked and fucking.  Just really going at it to this racket and they kiss in between lyrics and that’s it. You’re done.  Fuck them.

Fuck Alexisonfire.

Track Listing:

1. Old Crows
2. Young Cardinal
3. Sons of Priviledge
4. Born and Raised
5. No Rest
6. The Northern
7. Midnight Regulations
8. Emerald Street
9. Heading for the Sun
10. Accept Crime
11. Burial

Alexisonfire - Old Crows/Young Cardinals, reviewed by Charles on 2009-08-04T13:13:48-07:00 rating 1.0 out of 5

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