Orion Music + More – Sunday Music Preview Orion Music + More – Sunday Music Preview

I imagine I’ll be hungover after Saturday. I’ll definitely be bruised. I might be covered in strange scratches and sores culled from the conditions left over at El Rancho Motel from the last time a slew of metal bands bullied their way through town. If I’m lucky, I’ll still have some cocaine and the lingering memory of strawberry glitter and strange, sweaty tits smacking my face for a dollar.

Aaaaahhh.

Not today, though.

Today I’m showered, level-headed and prepared to give my full consideration to the artists playing Sunday. God rest ’em.

FRANTIC!

1:00-2:00 – Liturgy – The good Kap’n informs me that the other Triple H is actually a very kind and caring cat who just got way in over his head with that friggin’ essay on black metal that drove everybody crazy and I’ve never been able to get all the way through because I’ll just always have some other shit to do. Whatever. Aesthetica is a rad record.

2:15-3:00 – The Black Angels – I’ve been managing to miss this band for fucking years now despite the fact that I actually enjoy the hell out of their burned out menace cum brand of biker psych. Do I really want to see it at 2:15 though? Maybe for a sunny nightmare nap time.

3:30-4:15 – Soul Rebels – NoLa soul funk brass ensemble. Looks pretty fun actually. If I’m not mistaken, this is the only band on the bill that might actually get people dancing. I wonder if that’s a good thing.

4:30-5:00 – Shuli Egar – The miserable man behind The Miserable Men. COMEDY!

5:00-6:00 – Jim Breuer Heavy Metal Comedy Tour – See Saturday.

6:00-6:30 – Charred Walls of the Damned – Holy shit. I totally thought this name was a joke. It’s not. It is, however, every bit a drummer’s band.

7:00-8:00 – Titus Andronicus – Yeah, I know. I always bitch about how much I hate this band live and, yet, I keep “managing” to see them every time they’re in town. I think this will be my sixth experience in front of the punk rock Springsteenian history buffs. Make it count, boys.

DAMAGE INC!

1:30-2:15 – Thy Will Be Done – Aw, yeah. All sorts of mosh metal up in this bitch! Seriously, though. Circle pit.

2:45-3:30 – Landmine Marathon – Oh, fuck! This is gonna be pretty sick. Also, totally crushing.

4:00-4:45 – Torche – Torche makes me want to get high as shit and drive my El Camino off a cliff in the best possible way I can to make God understand that I’m the fucking MAN! so he’d best show me the way to Boobopolis.

5:15-6:00 – The Black Dahlia Murder – I first read about The Black Dahlia in a comic book called Taboo. Shit shook me good. Ever since then (I must have been but a tween at the time) I’ve had a pretty ravenous fascination with her smile much as (I imagine) these brutal dudes.

6:30-7:15 – Sepultura – Who the fuck is even in Sepultura anymore? The Cavaleras are gone, right? What the shit is left? Sure, their new singer is a terrifying juxtaposition of a bald-faced Rampage Jackson and Tiny motherfucking Lister but…no. I don’t know. I’ve always wanted to hear these monsters perform “Roots, Bloody Roots” live but I am terribly afraid that it just won’t sate my pining.

FUEL!

1:00-2:00 – A Place to Bury Strangers – Reeeeaaallly interested to see how their JAMC/Bauhaus worship (which, live, is heavily reliant on art projections and a well-timed strobe light) translates to such an early Sunday. If nothing else, I can assure you, they will be loud as all hell.

3:00-4:00 – Gary Clark Jr. – Smooth blues from one cool motherfucker. Kinda makes sense that he’d be sharing a stage with APTBS. Kinda. I guess this is a scheduling olive branch after that band split your thin, shaking skull open. An invitation to groove and relax.

5:00-6:00 – Volbeat – There’s actually a band called The Volebeats that I know that sound nothing at all like this. The top Youtube comment for this video reads “dude, This band sounds like Elvis Presley & Johnny Cash had a baby and it was fucked by Metallica!” I don’t know about that but…yeah, no it doesn’t sound like that either.

7:00-8:00 – Avenged Sevenfold – This is the first time I recognized that there was a “d” in this band’s name, thereby making their…um…avengance? past tense. I thought they were more nu-metal but it’s clear they’ve been spending a lot of time learning the tricks of The Big 4. Dude is definitely working some serious James Hetfield rasp, then feelings. Is that what nu-metal sounds like now? Remember that record where Slayer found a groove? That was cool.

ORION!

2:00-3:00 – Ghost – Crazy “cultish” doomy metal from Sweden. These dudes are all about costumes. Singer dresses all zombie pope. The rest of the band plays druid. I’ve actually heard really great things about them but won’t the sun turn them to dust?

4:00-5:00 – Best Coast – The band’s site biography reads “Inspired by life and love and everything else.” Fuck you, Bethany.

6:00-7:00 – Eric Church – Oh, shit. This is country. Cool. I mean, I don’t much listen to all that much country but I’ll definitely take it from time to time if and when the Bud is cold and the light is dim and I can tie my broken heart together with the tattered remnants of my father’s American flag. Yeah, all right.

8:00-10:00 – Metallica – Tonight, Metallica plays Metallica plays Metallica plays Metallica. It’s The Black Album, silly if you’ll forgive the nod to Gertrude Stein. Damn, man. I remember how excited I was when this record came out. I remember waiting outside of Sam Goody with my sweaty cash in hand just waiting to come home and play the fuck out of it. And I did. We all did. All us of a particular age. This record really changed the musical landscape and ignited all manner of purist controversy. When I brought it to my guitar teacher at the time so as to learn “Nothing Else Matters” he immediately started playing “Big Bottom.” I, clearly, had much to learn though I can still play the intro to “Battery” and totally will when I’m drunk and no one’s looking.



One Response about “Orion Music + More – Sunday Music Preview”

  • Jesus in heaven look at that excitement from all those Russian fans. It is hard not to get behind that type of enthusiasm despite any level of pretension. Fuck it, I’ll mark this performance as the high water mark for the band. Charles I want a detailed summary how this performance compares to the one you’ll see.